Burned Out? Remember Who Matters Most
A woman in a supermarket checkout line was shaking and crying as she paid for her purchases, clearly at the end of her rope. Another woman in line kindly commented to her that this must be a super hard day for her. The first woman said that she was totally burned out and didn’t know how she could cope anymore with the stresses in her life.
The second woman listened compassionately and handed the first woman what looked like a calling card. The woman in distress thought the card was probably promoting something like a counseling service and started to tuck it in her pocket as the second woman walked away.
But then she glanced at it and saw that the only words on it were You matter. She left the store feeling comforted and standing a little taller.
How close are you to burnout? Are the many demands you face from trying to meet the needs of family members, friends, employers, co-workers, or other prominent people in our lives leaving you at the end of your rope?
You matter
The truth is that you matter as much as everyone else.
In fact, putting yourself first is essential for your well-being. No one else will make sure your needs get met if you act as if you don’t matter. Putting yourself first is not a selfish act, it’s a self-honoring one.
You will most certainly burn out if you give all of yourself away to others and neglect to keep yourself filled up.
What needs to change?
What can you do to fill up in the face of burnout? To remind yourself that you matter?
First, get super honest. Ask yourself what needs to change to ease the pressure you are under? Is it time to move out of a job, a relationship, or another situation that you treat as mattering more than you do?
As the saying goes, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
Take that first step
To remind yourself that you matter, think of one step you could take to make a change in the right direction. Do you need to have the talk with someone who controls too much of your life, letting them know you are done giving in to their excessive demands? Or maybe you need to start a job search? Eat healthier food? Part ways with someone who doesn’t value you?
Only you know for sure what that first step needs to be, but don’t hesitate to ask someone you trust to offer you an idea as well. Sometimes others see our self-destructive habits better than we can.
Taking that first step to take better care for yourself can seem overwhelming, but you can start small. Try asking yourself a question and rank the answer on a scale of one to ten.
For example, ask yourself “How healthy am I eating on most days?” If your answer is five, then ask yourself “What would it take to move myself to a six?” Then celebrate your progress as you move up the scale.
Give yourself mini-breaks
Another way to pull yourself back from the edge of burnout is to take mini-breaks. Several times a day, stop for a couple minutes to fill yourself up emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Here a few ways you can give yourself a couple minutes “off.”
· Stop to look – really look – at something around you that gives you pleasure. A piece of art. A photo of a dear one. A plant in bloom. Even the colorful cover on a notebook. Let your breath slow so you can enjoy this bit of beauty fully.
· Move your body slowly, mindfully. Do a yoga stretch or a qigong move. Gently pat your shoulders and arms. Step up to a window or just outside your door and look around.
Giving mindful attention to your body moves you out of the routine habits of your day and connects you to the pleasure of feeling alive. It also “wakes up” your energy.
· Set a gentle-sounding bell or tone to ring on your phone at regular intervals throughout your day. Use this gentle reminder to pause and think of something you are grateful for. You can download a mindfulness app that will make this easy.
Get help
· Ask someone for help. People love to help each another so you’re actually doing someone a favor by reaching out and asking them to lend you a hand. And of course, you’re easing your load as well.
Don’t let burnout become the norm for you. Treat yourself like you matter – because you do!